An update, nearly a year later

Welcome back, friends. I’ve missed you.

Well, it happened. Since my last blog post, I’ve become a special educator in Baltimore City, and basically my whole life has been dedicated to that work since then.

A lot has changed for me in the past year. I’m certainly living a different life than I was a year ago. In some ways that’s great, and in some ways it doesn’t work for me.

School picture day, year one.

Ultimately, this blog is about mental and emotional wellness, so that’s what I’m here to talk about.

Teaching as a first year special educator has been tough. Probably one of the toughest things I’ve ever done for a prolonged period of time. My training program was excellent and comprehensive, but nothing really prepares you for all of the time and energy it takes to teach well until you walk into that school building and have to do it every day.

I often tell my partner that I feel like I’m a totally different person when I’m teaching versus when I’m living my everyday life or even doing my herbal work. My teacher-self is a bit of a mask—a costume I wear to navigate the work day and do my job. Through this year I feel like I’ve come into contact with parts of myself that I’ve forgotten were there—and at the same time, have lost touch with other crucial parts of myself.

As I approach summer vacation, I’m looking forward to getting back into contact with who I feel I am when I don’t have to wear the mask—kind of a hippie, looking at the ground and greeting plants, lighting incense and speaking with my spirit team, brewing up herbal medicines, and dedicating more time to cultivating my apothecary and clinical services—you know, all that good stuff.

Does this look like a hippie to you? I was asked to deliver a speech for the end of the summer pre-service training for my program, Baltimore City Teaching Residency.

Want to make an impact on students’ lives? Learn more about BCTR and TNTP at https://tntpteachingfellows.org/program/baltimore-city-teaching-residency/

In a lot of ways, my mental and emotional health suffered this year as I learned the ins and outs of navigating a new system, a new job, and a new way of life. In the fall, I had to resort to pharmaceutical medications to help me deal with the anxiety and stress I was holding in my body. But, much of this has eased with practice and dedicated time for rest.

One thing I do enjoy about teaching—despite all the hard work that goes into it through the school year, there are large, dedicated times for rest in the breaks throughout the year. In another blog post, I had written about working on my business as a form of self-care I practice. Doing what I love makes me happy—so facilitating that process and making it easier to do what I love is a good thing for me.

I’ve been enjoying this weird winding-down at the end of the year that’s taking place. I’m seizing the opportunity to practice self-care in the best way I know how—getting Tenderhearted up and running again after way too long away, coming back to who I know I am deep down inside. I’m hoping summer break will be good for that.

I’m letting go of the stress and tightness that has been with me for the past year. I’m hoping, going into my second year of teaching, I can learn to exist in the flow of the school year with more ease—and keep up with those practices that bring me back to myself, each and every night when I get home.

That’s more like it.

Who knows? I say a lot of things and do another. But I just have to try.

For us neurospicy people, it’s a constant learning process. It’s a constant struggle to implement helpful strategies to take care of ourselves and keep moving in a world that doesn’t always get the way we do things. It’s a constant battle to get our overstimulated minds and bodies to rest.

Take some time to return to yourself. My excuse is always that I don’t have the time. I think what I’ve learned this year is that the time must be seized. There will always be more work to do, so take time to rest. Like for real. Take it, make it, do whatever you have to do to squeeze in some you-time.

Until next time friends,

Warmly,

-Sean