On Starting Fresh

Hello, my name is Sean, and I’m a perfectionist. (Hi, Sean…)

I’ve got a ton of mental blocks and hang-ups. I don’t really feel comfortable putting something out into the world unless it’s entirely perfect and edited, free from potential criticism. If there’s anything to criticize about it, I will tell you as I hand it over to scrutinize. And you know what? This behavior and thought pattern really holds me back.

Chamomile

I was fortunate enough to be included in a retreat this past weekend for herbalists and nutritionists hosted by Camille Freeman and Bevin Clare, two herbalists whom I respect deeply and have been teachers and mentors during my relatively few years in clinical practice. During our Grounding & Centering group discussion, I came to a realization.

Working on my clinical business is, for me, a form of self-care. Working? Self-care? Hear me out.

I struggle with taking care of myself. Most days I’m not even convinced I hide it well. I’m sure there’s something to blame it on back there, but that doesn’t really matter now. I just find self-care way more challenging than I should.

I attribute it mostly to this perfectionism and self-criticism. It’s sort of like, why bother trying to take care of myself if I can’t do it perfectly? And the more I thought about it, the more it applied to everything in my life.

Why bother applying for that job if I don’t think I could do it to exact job description specifications? Why bother cleaning my room if it’s just going to get messy again tomorrow? Why bother packing a lunch when I’m just going to forget to eat it anyway?

Why bother putting effort into the mark I want to make on the world if I don’t know how to create perfectly polished blogs, social media posts, newsletters….?

Do you see the connection yet? Every time I ask myself “why bother?”, I’m protecting myself from even trying (and therefore, failing a few times!) It’s the same reason I neglect aspects of my business, and the reason my blog has been non-existent since I started.

So today, I’m committing to starting fresh. One of the hardest things to remember when you are neurodivergent is that you can always choose to try again tomorrow when you mess up today.

So, this week, I dream up and plan the structures I need to put into place to accomplish my goal of making Tenderhearted a business I can enjoy running, truly helps people, and provides for me and my family.

For many (not all) people with ADHD, building structural supports for oneself often doesn’t come easily.

If you ever feel like something is too big, too daunting, too undefined to even begin working on it, I’d encourage you to take a deep breath, and start outlining, start journaling, start collaging, start putting things into your calendar. Build every structure you can to guide you, keep your vision focused on your ultimate goal, and have a little grace for yourself when you mess up. You can always make the choice to keep going.

Welcome to Tenderhearted Wellness. My name is Sean and I’m a perfectionist. I’m here to show you that a wellness practice does not need to look perfect to be good, and that we can take small strides to support our mental and physical health every day, without it feeling overwhelming. Done is better than perfect, and that’s the new motto we’ve got to live by to put our vision and voice out into the world. Let’s mess up together.

Warmly,